Hi, I am Kwame Owusu, and I am Too Manly. I have a confession to make.
You see, I have never known how to be a man, real or otherwise. The lack of a healthy father figure in my life, growing up in a toxic family, my overpowering ego and negative mindset, and the indoctrination by mainstream media all came together to deny me the opportunity to grow up. I was stunted emotionally and maturely, with my masculine energy effectively displaced by my feminine energy.
As your typical “nice guy” — a giver but not a taker — that had the “niceness” meter cranked up to the highest setting, I was sick but didn’t know it, and decades of attracting and tolerating toxic people and denying myself the pleasures of a truly happy life did a number on my mind, body and spirit.
And then I couldn’t take it anymore after reaching the ripe old age of 32… My body was in pain, and my mind was in tatters. I looked at surroundings, my living situation, the people that called me family or friend only to realize that I had been living a life of lies, deceit, betrayal, abuse, and, most importantly, self disrespect. I had sold myself short in every way imaginable, manifested a nightmare life, and was paying the consequences. I had accomplished nothing.
Afraid of where my life was heading, I finally made the conscious effort to grow up and be a man. And to do that, I had to free my incarcerated masculine energies and harness it to achieve the happy, productive and fulfilling life that I truly deserve.
WHAT IS TOO MANLY?
I founded to Too Manly as a men’s lifestyle and personal development platform for myself and other aspiring men to understand, redefine and embrace what it means to be a masculine, self-actualized man in the 21st century. Too Manly is a highly-charged and even contentious phrase, so let’s make a few things clear…
1. Too Manly Loves Women
If you are a misogynist of any kind, a text-book pickup artist seeking to exploit and objectify women, or just someone looking to stir up some trouble, there is no place for you here. Too Manly loves women and promotes harmony.
Men’s roles are changing faster than anyone can keep track, and there is no denying that these changes have caused a rift between the sexes. Too Manly covers the issues facing men with a keen interest, but with the understanding that, despite our many difference, women are not “less than” men.
2. Too Manly Is Not Homophobic
Too Manly does not believe that there is only one “right” way to be a man and that men can come from all sexual orientations. The emphasis is on a person’s actions, mindset and attitude towards moreso than on anything else.
To that end, we do not support or condone homophobia. If you want to marginalizing others who are different than the ‘Man-Box’ ideal of the ideal man, you are at the wrong place.
3. Too Manly Is Not MGTOW
We understand the plight of men around the world, but Too Manly is not a MGTOW platform. The movement might have started with the right intent of defying the gynocentric system that exploits men, but it has quickly turned into a congregation of young men validating each other’s bitterness and frustration at not being able to get women.
This goes against our core philosophy that all men have the power to improve their lives and overcome any obstacles, including challenges they might face in relationships with women. Men and women were made to complement each other, and not all women are out to take us for everything we have.
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE TOO MANLY
Nowadays, the phrase “too manly” has been warped to connote a man who embodies the negative aspects of masculinity and eschews the numerous virtues. He is often viewed as overly aggressive, violent, unkempt, brash, irresponsible and even stupid, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Although our modern vocabulary is laden with many words and phrases to describe the ideal man, I envision ‘too manly’ to encapsulate the ultimate man, one who strives to address the weaknesses and downfalls of men in general all the while building up and channeling his numerous strengths for the betterment of both himself and his community.
The self-actualized man who chases after his goals every hour he breathes, always strives to be the best in every way possible, and has disciplined mastery over his impulses? He’s ‘Too Manly’.
The man who understands and is comfortable with himself and isn’t easily swayed by the opinions of others, always in pursuit of knowledge about his internal external worlds, and constantly takes action on what he’s learned? That’s Too Manly!
The man who understands that only he creates his reality, not just with his actions, but especially with his thoughts; listens as much as he talks, if not more; isn’t afraid to take life’s hits, fall once in while, pick himself up and rebuild anew better than before? He’s Too Manly!
The man who isn’t afraid to ask for help when he needs it? Too Manly!
The man who isn’t afraid to be alone and sees times of solitude as a great opportunity for personal discovery and cultivating his individual potential? That’s ‘too manly’!
The farther who does everything in his power to make sure his family is provided for emotionally and materially should be awarded a ‘Too Manly’ trophy.
Men of great values and high standards who respects themselves and treat others with due respect are also acting Too Manly, as are those men who take charge of their lives and write their own stories.
I my humble opinion, any man who aspires to be the best he can be both as a man and as a human being is Too Manly, if not because his actions help move society to a better place. And when I personally say that “I am too manly,” what I really mean is that I have taken on the challenge of achieving the virtues needed to become a complete, self-actual-sized man. It’s a life-long journey that will go on until I take my last breath.
ARE YOU TOO MANLY?
One simply doesn’t become too manly overnight — for most, it’s a worthwhile, albeit lifelong, journey of trials and tribulations and experiences and growth. It’s not for the faint-hearted, but it can certainly make a man out of anyone.
That, of course, begs the question: Are you ‘Too Manly’? Are you ready to learn, grow and inspire alongside like-minded men around the world who have taken on the challenge of becoming the best man they can me — a complete, self-actual-sized man!