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How To Get A Girl To Like You: 20 Tips To Make Her Yours

How To Get A Girl To Like You

Learning how to get a girl to like you is not just about getting her — it’s also about becoming the best version of yourself.

Let me guess — you’ve been smitten by a girl who probably doesn’t even know you exist or perhaps sees you as nothing more than a friend. Guys all around the world know the feeling, and it sucks!

Now, regardless of whether this is the first or the hundredth time you’ve dealt with such a problem, chances are it made you ponder the age-old quandary of how to get a girl to like you.

Why wouldn’t it? Not only don’t you want to mess up your approach and risk losing her for good, but you also don’t want to be one of the multitudes of guys who don’t go after their desires. 

If it seems like you’re stuck between a rock and hard place, don’t worry — Too Manly has you covered. This guide lays out 24 proven tricks and strategies that will make her want you.

How To Get A Girl To Like You: 20 Tips For Success

Before trying to get a girl like you, it helps to know if she already does. Find out by reading our detailed guide on how to tell if a girl likes you.

It is also worth pointing out that nothing you’ll learn in this article is manipulative or intended to deceive. The tips and strategies presented are deeply rooted in science and challenge you to look at yourself so that you can make improvements that better your life..

Ultimately, learning how to make a girl like you will make you a better version of yourself. Let’s begin.

Become More Attractive

Hygienic, well-shaven smiling man.
Something as simple as having good hygiene and being well-groomed can make you significantly more attractive.

It goes without saying that in order to attract any girl, you must first be attractive yourself. Or, put another way, the more attractive you are, the easier it will be for you to get her to like you.

Better yet, instead of chasing women, chase a better you. The only way you can make a girl genuinely like you is to become a better version of yourself, and this requires improving every area of your life. 

The following tips will go a long way to make her notice you.

1. Be Independent, Have Your Own Life

This is essential for starting any great relationship, let alone one with a girl you like. Don’t fool her into thinking you’re a fun and outgoing guy when the truth is that you need her to make you happy.

Drive, self-reliance, and independence are very masculine traits that most women find attractive, while codependency is a sign of weakness that can make you come across as desperate and clingy. 

Your happiness should never be dependent on someone else’s (at least not entirely). If you need help finding an interest or hobby, check out our comprehensive list of 134 Best Hobbies For Men.

How to get a girl to like you? Get a life, man! Work on yourself to find your interest and passions and pursue personal goals, for these are the marks of a quality man.

2. Fix Your Posture, Adopt A Power Pose

Girls love confidence… even more than they love chocolate! So, how self-confident are you?

If you’re not a confident guy, don’t worry. Confidence is a skill that can be developed and honed. Just read our guide on the 10 Ways You Can Build Self-Confidence.

One of the quickest ways to feel more confident is to fix your posture. Adopting a power pose whereby you square your shoulders, open up your chest, and stand / sit up straight will instantly make you more attractive to any girl.

Why? A power pose makes you look taller, more powerful, and more commanding, all signs of a confident, self-assured man.

How to make a girl like you? Check your posture. Standing, sitting, and walking like a man with a purpose will make you more irresistible than chocolate to her.

3. Have Good Hygiene

The importance of having good hygiene and being well-groomed cannot be stressed enough. Not only do girls like a well put-together guy, but looking and smelling good also makes you feel better about yourself.

Guess what? It doesn’t take much to look the part. All it usually takes is bathing regularly, brushing your teeth, cutting your nails, keeping your facial and body hair cleanly trimmed, and combing your hair or getting a decent haircut. 

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Putting effort into your grooming makes you look put-together and in control of yourself.

How to get a girl to like you? Don’t look or smell like a caveman. Having good hygiene and being well-groomed may actually double your chances of getting her to like you. Just don’t overdo the cologne. 

4. Dress Well

While grooming is important, it’s often said that clothes make the man. 

Dressing well and looking sharp doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t mean you have to change your current style. All it often takes to stand out from the crowd is to wear clothes that properly fit.

In that light, if your wardrobe could use an update, now is as good a time as any. Throw out or donate your old, torn or oversized clothes and replace them with something that fits your body nicely.

Need more advice on dressing like a winner? Check out the 15 Men’s Fashion, Style And Dress Tips For The Clueless Guy.

How to get a girl to like you? Make sure your clothes are tidy and fit your body. Baggy, torn, and dirty clothing are a big turnoff for women.

5. Get Healthy, Fit, Strong

Part of being a well put-together man is being in shape physically, mentally, and emotionally.

People are less likely to take you seriously if you look anemic or obese, or can barely go up a flight of stairs. Bad health is a sign of low ambition and self-respect, something no woman likes.

Now, being healthy doesn’t mean having six-pack abs or biceps the size of your head (though they help). Not at all.

It means eating healthy, de-stressing and exercising regularly, and getting routine check ups to ensure you have good cardiovascular health and a well-functioning mind.

Fortunately, you don’t need a gym membership to stay fit and healthy. There are many great at-home exercises you can do in the comfort of your living room.

How to get a girl to like you? Take care of yourself. When you’re healthy, you feel as good as you look, which builds confidence.

6. Be Good At Conversations

Effective communication is key to getting a girl to like you and maintaining a relationship. If you can’t start and hold a conversation, you probably shouldn’t even bother pursuing her.

At the very least, have some conversation-starters to break the ice and find common interests to talk about.

If you are in a restaurant, for example, you can start the conversation by talking about your favorite drink or entrée. 

Need more ideas? Here is a collection of 136 Great Topics And Things To Talk About With Anyone. Want something more specific? Try out some of our 100 Engaging Questions To Ask A Girl You Like.

Keep the conversation simple, and make it about her. If all goes well, it will give her more time to warm up to you. 

How to make a girl like you? Brush up on your conversation skills. Always have some conversation-starters on hand and improvise with follow up questions to keep the conversation flowing. Make it about her, not you.

7. Have Manners, Be A Gentleman

Some guys need a reminder that purposely burping and farting are rude and unattractive. Good manners will never go out of style, and despite what you might have been told, chivalry isn’t dead.

Feminists, pickup artists, and other gender equality proponents might balk at the idea of giving women special treatment, but it’s still OK to open her door first when you head to the car or pull and push in her chair first when sitting down at a table.

Being a gentleman is not the same as being a doormat — it’s about being tactful and classy.

How to get a girl to like you? Never forget your manners, and don’t be afraid or ashamed to be chivalrous.

8. Master Your Emotions

As men, we’ve been conditioned to bury uncomfortable emotions so that we don’t  look weak and ‘effeminate’.

So instead of expressing our emotions in a healthy way, we suppress them until they fester and manifest in unhealthy ways.

However, emotional stability is essential in developing and maintaining a stable relationship. No one, let alone the girl you like, wants to deal with the unpredictability and potential danger of an emotionally volatile man.

How to get a girl to like you? Master your emotions. The more mature you are about the things you can and cannot control, the more attractive you will be.

9. Learn To Be Assertive

People often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness or, worse, being a jerk, but there is a distinction.

Assertiveness means knowing what you want, expressing your needs clearly but respectfully and pursuing them with determination, and being open to compromise. 

It is the balance between being too passive and being too overbearing or domineering. 

Do you need to be emotionally stable to strike this fine balance? You bet!

How to get a girl to like you? Don’t be afraid to get your point across or stand by your decisions. Women tend to prefer guys who are commanding, powerful, and assertive.

10. Have A Curious Mind

There is nothing more boring than a man who doesn’t want to learn or try new things. Don’t be such a guy — develop a curious mind.

Not only does curiosity allow you to embrace unfamiliar circumstances and gain new experiences, it also makes you ask questions, learn from others, and look for ways to do everything better.

How to get a girl to like you? Having a curious attitude will show the girl you like that you won’t stagnate as a partner or make the relationship less exciting.

Interact With The Girl

Couple on a date, talking over a cup of coffee.
Being confident, genuine, sincere, and interesting is a sure way to make her take you more seriously.

So, you’re making an effort to become a better, more attractive version of yourself. What now?

Simple: initiate the courtship, assuming you haven’t already. 

Having the right mindset and looking and feeling good won’t necessarily make the girl like you. You need to actually interact with her. 

Having an understanding of the rules of engagement will help you effectively communicate with her. Use the following tips as a guideline.

1. Smile, Make Eye Contact

A common mistake many guys make when approaching a girl is not making eye contact. They become so focused on ‘warming’ themselves up (watching their body language, rehearsing what they’ll say, etc.) to make a good first impression that they forget to do this one simple thing.

The thing is, girls tend to find it jarring when you start talking to them without directly looking at them, even more so if you get nervous and / or mess up your lines. 

It goes back to what I said about confidence. Women love confident and assertive guys, and nothing screams “low confidence” louder than not making eye contact when talking.

Try this: Before saying a word to the girl you’re after, position yourself near her for a few minutes (order a drink next to her if in a bar, browse near her in the store, etc.). When you catch her eye, smile and, a few seconds later, say something.

How to get a girl to like you? Making eye contact in the initial interaction makes you come across as friendly and confident, helping her feel more relaxed and open to further interaction.

2. Just Say ‘Hello’

Speaking of saying something after making eye contact, keep it simple. Instead of using a funny or cheesy pick up line, which might get you a strange look, just say ‘hello’ or ‘hey’.

You don’t need something over the top or totally original. A simple ‘hello’ (and eye contact, of course) should grab her attention long enough to start a conversation.

If you have something clever to say that won’t come across as rehearsed or forced, by all means, boss, use it! Just don’t try too hard. 

Women are allergic to try-hards, and they can smell them from a mile away.

How to get a girl to like you? Instead of bursting a brain vessel trying to come up with something witty and clever to say, just start with a simple ‘hey’. That’s all it usually takes to open a girl up for a conversation. 

3. Be Familiar To Her

Human beings gravitate to the familiar (the familiarity effect), and the last time I checked, women were still considered human.

Your goal here is to become so familiar to her that she not only recognizes your presence, but she also notices and possibly even feels uncomfortable when you’re not around.

The more time you spend together, the more you will learn about her. However, be careful not to become so familiar that she considers you a friend.

To avoid falling into the friend zone, you need to strike a balance between familiarity and individuality. That’s why it helps to be a bit unpredictable by having an exciting life of your own.

How to get a girl to like you? Proximity creates attraction, and familiarity breeds enjoyment. Become a familiar figure in her life by spending as much time with her as possible without falling over into the friend zone.

4. Keep Things Exciting

Giving her new experiences is one sure way of setting yourself apart from the other guys chasing her.

It doesn’t have to be extravagant or even romantic. It could be as simple as treating her to an exotic dish she’s never tried or an excellent but underappreciated movie she’s never watched. 

You can even do something special just for her, however small it may be.

Introducing such novelties will not only keep you fresh and exciting, but it will also allow you to create little memorable moments together that will build a bond and, of course, familiarity.

How to get a girl to like you? Don’t be boring, boss. Make an effort to keep things fresh, interesting, and exciting. 

5. Highlight Your Similarities

Ever heard of the similarity-attraction effect? If not, just know that it’s a physiological phenomena that you can use to your advantage.

Basically, much like the familiarity effect, humans evolved to like people who are similar to them. So if you find that the two of you like the same things, make sure to highlight it.

For example, if she loves country music like you do, let her know your favorite band! Heck, as an exciting new adventure, take her to one of their concerts!

But just because similarity breeds attraction doesn’t mean you should hide your differences. On the contrary, having an opinion will show her that you’re not a boring guy.

How to get a girl to like you? Listen to her very carefully, identify the things you have in common, and highlight those things to build familiarity. Have differences? That’s OK, too.

6. Be Nice To Other Women

Women are a lot more communal than men, especially among themselves. So they are generally more attracted to men who have respectable, functional relationships with other women.

Having a hateful relationship towards your mother, always complaining about your exes, or being on bad terms with their friends are a major red flag for them.

Make the girl see you as a genuinely nice person. Are her friends around? Engage in a friendly conversation with them, making sure to discuss their interests . 

Interacting with her older sister or senior work colleague perhaps? Treat them respectfully like you would an older woman in your life. 

How to get a girl to like you? Get her to feel safe and comfortable around you by showing her that you’re a nice person to other women besides her.

7. Don’t Play Games

Pickup artists generally teach guys to use the push and pull method, a dating strategy where you entice a girl with a conversation or good gesture and then dovetail with a backhanded comment to make her wonder if you actually like her.

Truth be told, this technique can make a relationship exciting if used by a confident man. However, women have become wise to it, and most won’t hesitate to shut you down if they think you’re using it to hide your insecurity.

To increase your chances of getting the girl you like, you must show sincerity. 

How to get a girl to like you? Make your intentions clear. Act sincerely, and leave the silly games to the pickup artists.

8. Compliment Her Pace

Complementing her pace means understanding how she wants the courtship to proceed and meshing your pace in a way that works for you both.

In other words, just because she wants to take things slow doesn’t necessarily mean you have to, as well. You can ask her out at your discretion, but give her some peace of mind by assuring her that you don’t expect anything from the date.

Part of being confident and assertive is not compromising your desires outright. 

How to get a girl to like you? Neither of you has to compromise the things you consider  non-negotiable. Just know what she likes, and meet her halfway.

9. Ask Her Out!

Speaking of asking her out, do it! After all, what’s the point of reading this entire guide if you’re not going to ask her out?

While it’s important that you practice all the previous tips, make sure not to wait too long to make this final move. 

The longer you wait, the bigger the risk she will put you in the friend zone.

Remember, women love guys who display confidence and go after the things they want. They don’t like guys who beat around the bush. 

How to get a girl to like you? Show her that you mean business by asking her out. It’s the most genuine and masculine way to express your interest.

10. Know When To Let Go

If you followed all the tips and strategies provided here but she still turns you down, let her go. You can perhaps  try again another time, but for now, you’ll have to  let her go and find another, friendlier, and more willing girl to try your luck with.

Have an abundance mentality. Seeing as there are 7 to 8 billion people in the world, more than half of which are female, treating any girl as if she’s the only one on earth for you is a mark of desperation.

Be a gentleman about it. Instead of fuming or being angry that she rejected you, gracefully accept it as a learning experience. If she’s someone you just met, politely say ‘nice talking to you’ and move on.

How to get a girl to like you? Cast your net wide. There are plenty of girls in the world; if you can’t get one, move onto the next.

Mistakes To Avoid When Trying To Get A Girl

Stack the odds in your favor. Avoid becoming the type of guy she doesn’t want.

The game of courtship is not an easy one to play, and there are many pitfalls that can trip even the most well-rounded guy.

Not only will avoiding these common mistakes make pursuing the girl you like a more enjoyable experience, but you will also avoid becoming the exact type of man she doesn’t want:

1. Feeling Entitled

Guys sometimes convince themselves that just because they’ve put some work into improving their personality and appearance, they deserve attention for that effort. 

Becoming frustrated when women don’t immediately respond to your advances is a recipe for disaster. You’re entitled to nothing! 

How to get a girl to like you? You can’t “make” someone like you if they already don’t. The smartest, most mature thing to do is continue improving yourself and try again.

2. Negging Her

Commonly used by pick up artists, negging is the act of using low-grade insults to undermine the self-confidence of a woman to make her more vulnerable to your advances. 

Negging is basically emotional manipulation. Not only is it one of the worst ways to start any relationship, but what confident, self-respecting man would stoop so low? 

How to make a girl like you? Work on becoming secure in yourself so that you never have to resort to abusive and distasteful tactics to make her like you.

3. Revealing Too Much

Guys who don’t have much experience with flirting tend to give out too much personal information too fast, believing that being completely honest and sincere will make them more appealing.

Although being open and vulnerable is a great trait to have, there are some things you shouldn’t reveal to strangers. Control your impulse to do so.

How to get a girl to like you? Honesty is good, but there is a right and wrong time for everything. You don’t have to reveal your shameful secrets, strange fantasies, and tragic family histories to make any like you.

4. Stalking Her

We’ve all done it: You see a cute girl in your school, workplace, or what have you, and instead of personally making her acquaintance, what do you do? 

You try to find everything you can about her from facebook, her friends, her company’s phonebook, and other sources before actually speaking with her, if at all.

Stalking is a big turn-off and a universal redflag for women. It’s a reflection of your low confidence.
How to make a girl like you? Have the decency to just introduce yourself instead of stalking her. You don’t want to come across as a creep.

How To Get A Girl To Like You: Conclusion

I hope that, after reaching the end of this guide, you now have a solid understanding of how to get a girl to like you.

Although there are many things you can do to get her, being a genuine, considerate, well-put together, and confident man of action is what will ultimately get you results.

Make an effort to improve your personality and appearance, overcome your fears and self-limiting beliefs, and simply become the best possible version of yourself.

Most girls are easier to attract and pick up than they appear, but you must be willing to make a move. Don’t play mind games, and don’t beat around the bush.

Not every girl is going to like you back even — that’s a fact of life — but there are billions of fish in the sea! You have almost endless opportunities to get one.

Cast your net wide. If she doesn’t respond to your advances, don’t get angry, bitter or sad. Simply let her lose and move on to the next one

If you found this guide on how to get a girl to like you helpful, share the knowledge with your friends or anyone you think might need it. And get more useful articles like it at Too Manly Relationships.

Written By

Kwame Owusu is a personal development coach and the founder of Too Manly. He holds an MBA from a top business school and is committed to helping men all around the world look, feel and live the prime of their life.

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