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Personal Fundamentals

How To Be Cool: 10 Ways To Become A Cooler You

Learning how to be cool will make you a better version of yourself, so start now.

Has there ever been anyone who hasn’t wanted to be cool? Probably not. After all, it’s human nature to be liked, loved, respected, admired, and even revered.

Chances are you’re reading this article because you yourself want to be the coolest guy or girl in any room or environment you enter, someone who always seems to know the right things to say and do, has an air of confidence, and flows through life with ease and grace.

Or, at the very least,  you want to be cooler than you currently are.

If I pegged you right, your quest to learn how to be cool has brought you the right place.

You know all those people you consider cool and possibly even out of your league? Well, you can be just like them, and this guide will teach you how.

What Does It Mean To Be “Cool”?

Before we show you how to be “cool”, it helps to understand what “being cool” exactly means. 

As you’ve probably suspected, the concept of “coolness” is completely subjective. To some people, rappers, hip hop artists, and members of hardcore punk bands are the epitome of cool, while for others, it’s aloof performance artists. 

Business-minded people might consider high-rolling venture capitalists who hang out on yachts to be the coolest people in the world, while nature-loving minimalists might put the Dalie Lama on their mantle of coolness.

It’s also worth noting that the characteristics generally associated with coolness today are markedly different than those in the past. For example, Elvis Presly is no longer the epitome of cool despite being considered one of the most significant cultural icons of the 20th century.

Basically, everyone has their own perceptions of what’s cool, so there is no one-size-fits-all definition of coolness. Also, our definition of who or what is cool will almost certainly change over time.

So, what is your current definition of cool? Is there someone you consider cool that you wish to emulate?

How to be cool? “Coolness” means different things to different people, so the first step in your journey to become cool is to determine what you consider cool.

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How To Be Cool: 10 Effective Tips To Become Cooler

How to be cool - Two happy friends
When you learn how to be cool, you become irresistible to people.

Although there is no universal definition on how to be cool, there are some guidelines you can follow to become a cooler version of yourself.

The following are 10 research-backed tips you can use to greatly enhance your coolness factor.

1. Stand Up Straight, Improve Your Posture 

Looking cool starts with having a strong presence. This has less about how you look and more about how you carry yourself.

Having a good straight posture at all times, whether you’re standing or sitting, is crucial here. No matter your definition of “cool”, and unless you have a physical condition, you must avoid body language gestures and postures that make you look weak and timid.

Don’t slouch, don’t slump your body, and don’t make yourself look small.

Now, having to constantly monitor and optimize what every part of our body is doing at any given time can drive anyone mad, so how do cool people do it? I’ll tell you how.

Cool people manage to appear taller, stronger, more powerful and, therefore, more confident by focusing on feeling tall and powerful, and then letting that feeling reflect it in their posture. 

How to be cool? There is a strong connection between how you present yourself and the sense of strength and toughness you give off, so fix your posture by adopting a power pose.

2. Don’t Try Too Hard To Be Cool

No one likes a try-hard, and it’s hard to imagine a try-hard ever being cool.

You see, while making an effort to get the things you want out of life is important, a big part of the aura “coolness” rests in the simplicity, poise, and grace one gives off.

Think about it, does a character like James Bond plead, smile, fidget with anything, or generally come across as if he’s trying to sell you a certain image? No, not really.

By not trying, cool people signal to the world that they are so smooth and sure of themselves that they don’t have to try to get what they want.

How to be cool? Don’t try too hard to be cool. Doing so will only make you come across as desperate, which is the very definition of uncool.

3. Build Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is essential for every area of your life, be it your relationships, your career, mental and physical health, or overall happiness. 

Guess what? Building your confidence also happens to be one of the quickest ways to become cooler.

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Being confident means believing in your abilities to tackle any challenges and handle anything life throws at you.

Studies have shown time and time again that confident people (especially men) are more likable and successful than comparatively more modest people, who are generally seen as ‘too weak’.

Cool people have little to no self-doubt, nor do they get in their own way. They accept who they are and go after what they want.

If you want to  know how to be confident, read our detailed guide on the 10 Ways You Can Build Self-Confidence.

How to be cool? Find ways to build your confidence (read our guide). When you combine great confidence with not trying too hard to be cool, you end up with the essence of cool.

4. Learn How To Talk Cool

There is no one way to talk cool, but there is one major thing all cool people have in common when communicating: They sound confident and self-assured. 

You want to sound like an authority when talking with others, and this requires overcoming any nervousness or anxiety you might feel and actively listening to what’s being said so that you respond thoughtfully.

Your tone is also very important — more important than the actual words you speak, in fact. Studies on the impact of communication suggest that anywhere from 20 to 40% of what we communicate is dependent on tone of voice. 

Learn to speak in a calm, consistently-toned voice, and try to inject a little humor into your conversations (not forcibly, of course).

How to be cool? Talk like a leader! Monitor your tone and expressions, have confidence in what you’re saying, and listen so that you don’t sound like a fool when responding to someone.

5. Be Well-Groomed

In addition to posture, having a strong presence also entails being well-groomed and practicing good hygiene. 

I mean, how many cool people do you know who smell, have yellow teeth, habitually wear soiled and tattered clothing, and look like they haven’t trimmed their nose hair in years? None, I bet.

You don’t have to spend hours on your appearance everyday to be cool, but make sure to routinely take showers, keep all hairs on your body well-kept, brush your teeth, cut your nails, and have your clothes, shoes and accessories in good condition.

How to be cool? Don’t look or smell like a caveman, not unless you think looking and smelling like one is cool.

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6. Take Care Of Your Health

You know what’s not cool? Neglecting your health. People are less likely to take you seriously if you’re out of shape, mentally unbalanced, or — god forbid — both.

Think about it, what is your initial impulse when someone sneezes, coughs, farts profusely, or starts talking like a maniac? You try to get away!

It’s only human nature for us to want to be around people brimming with vibrant health. 

Does this mean you have to have six-pack abs or biceps the size of your head? No. But you should make an effort to eat healthy, exercise frequently, and get routine check medical ups to maintain a healthy BMI and a well-functioning mind.

How to be cool? People are not going to want to be around you if you look unhealthy, so eat healthy, stay active, and seek help for any physiological issues you might have. 

7. Be A Rebel, Break The Rules

Research shows that breaking the rules can make you appear powerful and is a key component of coolness, but don’t confuse being rebellious with being unruly or sociopathic. 

Cool people with a good head on their shoulders aren’t oblivious to proper social etiquette. It’s just that they like doing their own thing and have little tolerance for people or rules controlling their lives.

Although some rules are meant to be broken, or at the very least disregarded at the right time and place, being a rebel essentially means standing up and fighting for yourself and your beliefs. This explains why “rebels with a cause” are often considered cool.

How to be cool? Don’t be afraid to stoke and embrace your rebellious nature. Stand up for yourself, and fight for your beliefs and desires.

8. Don’t Be A Jerk About It

Cool guys and girls sometimes get a bad rap because movies and TV shows often portray them as shallow jerks and douchebags. If you think being cool means treating people badly, reconsider that viewpoint.

In truth, cool people — quality good people — are generally on friendly terms with everyone. Instead of going around thinking they are better than everyone, they make an effort to be nice and respectful to the people in their lives and those they meet.

This is a big reason why they are so liked and admired. 

How to be cool? Treat people like how you want to be treated. Being a jerk or douchebag doesn’t make you cool — it makes you an enemy, someone few people want to be around.

9. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Different

Remember, ‘cool’ means different things to different people, so don’t be afraid to be different. 

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Whether it means having a different fashion sense, taking interest in something that no one else does, or defending someone else, do it because it’s what makes you feel happy and cool, not because it’s what someone wants you to do 

Getting back to the section about being a rebel, the coolest people tend to be those who occasionally go against the tide and make people question the status quo. 

This can oftentimes make Insecure people jealous of you, and they might stoop to very low levels in an attempt to steal your thunder. 

Don’t let that deter you! Build confidence in yourself so that their actions don’t get to you.

How to be cool? If necessary, go your own way. Dress the way and do the things you think are cool, and don’t let the opinions of others get in the way of that. 

10. Be Yourself, Find Your Own Style

Last but not least, don’t lose sight of yourself or your morals in your journey to become cool. Because what’s the point of being cool if you’re someone you are not? 

Indeed, being cool isn’t about changing who you are — it’s about elevating your core self to a new level so that you shine brighter than ever. It’s about being the best version of yourself for the world to appreciate and admire.

Leverage your strengths and overcome your weaknesses. Learn new skills that compliment your value, vision and goals, and make you irresistible to people.

How to be cool? Accept yourself for who you are — all your good and bad habits, strengths and weaknesses — and don’t apologize to anyone for being true to yourself. Being yourself while having people appreciate and admire you is the epitome of cool.

Can You Become Cool Or Are You Born Cool?

Young cool man giving two thumbs up.
Anyone can learn how to be cool, even you.

As with personality traits such as confidence and humor, one can’t discuss the topic of how to be cool without addressing the question of whether “coolness” is a genetic trait or something people learn.

So, is there a “cool” gene? That is, are some people just born cooler than others? The answer, as you probably suspected, is yes and no.

There isn’t  a cool gene per se, but scientists believe there might be a gene for charisma, a trait strongly correlated with coolness.

Strong oratorical skills, a positive and optimistic attitude, and emotional expressiveness — all key qualities of cool people — are also part of the building blocks of charisma.

But even though some people are born with a genetic predisposition to being charismatic and cool, the good news is that anyone, including you, can learn how to be cool, or at least cooler.

In fact, the world’s most charismatic leaders (Steve Jobs, Richard Brandon, Oprah, etc ), artists, and pop culture sensations are both born and made. 

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So whether or not you are a “naturally” cool individual, have confidence in knowing that you can learn and train yourself to become one.

Use the tips provided here as a starting point, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t be cool.

How To Be Cool: Takeaways

So, there you have it — a detailed guide showing you how to be cool.

Remember, there is no universal definition for “cool”. What I consider cool, you might consider otherwise, and vice versa. People who were cool in the past may no longer be cool today.

Even so, all cool people share a number of core characteristics that make them the irresistible individuals they are, characteristics you can replicate to achieve your own idea of coolness. 

They tend to have impeccable posture and very high self-confidence. They are generally healthy, well-groomed, effective communicators, and rule-breakers when it’s necessary and appropriate.

Cool people are also generally nice to people, aren’t afraid to be different, and make being cool seem effortless.

Finally, they don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. Their coolness is a heightened reflection of their core self rather than a fake mask.

Now that you have the foundations for being cool, build upon them to become the coolest version of yourself. I am sure that putting in the time and effort will get you amazing results.

If you found our guide on how to be cool helpful, share it with your family, friends, or anyone you think could use some help becoming cooler.

Written By

Kwame Owusu is a personal development coach and the founder of Too Manly. He holds an MBA from a top business school and is committed to helping men all around the world look, feel and live the prime of their life.

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