What is a narcissist? Not unless you are awake to their true nature, you are in danger.
Narcissism is a term that is commonly used in pop culture, but one few people know the true meaning of. When people hear or use the word narcissist, they often have in mind someone who is self-absorbed and is superior to others. While this is true for some narcissists, it’s just one trait of another type of narcissist that’s far more dangerous and destructive.
Whereas your garden variety narcissist can very well be a normal person — not withstanding their obnoxious sense of superiority — a person with narcissistic personality disorder actually has a mental disorder. These people live in their own world, one in which they are king and everyone is their slave. They do everything in their power to mirror this twisted reality in the real world, resorting to abuse, treachery, lies, and other deviant behaviors as their prime operandi.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is an enduring, consistent pattern of self-aggrandizing attitudes and behaviors. A person afflicted with it has it for life, and as a result, is a serious danger to anyone he or she deals with, be they family, friend or associate. They are the very definition of evil and the reason why our world is so crazy.
Take it from me, you wouldn’t want to be engulfed by the nightmare these people are capable of creating. But would you know if you were the victim of narcissistic abuse? Would you be able to identify the signs of narcissism if confronted with them? After all, these people can seem normal, especially to those with kind, generous and forgiving hearts.
Fortunately, people afflicted with narcissistic personality disorder exhibit a number notable traits that set them apart from healthy people. Understanding these red flags will be a major step in understanding the politics of narcissistic abuse and help safeguard you from these predators. Note that for the sake of this article, narcissist means someone with narcissistic personality disorder and not your garden variety narcissist.
Here are ten common traits that make someone a narcissism, traits that you can use as a narcissist test of sorts to weed out the difficult people in your life.
1. They Have No Empathy
Of all the narcissistic traits, the lack of empathy is probably the defining characteristic of those afflicted with Narcissistic personality disorder. Because these people truly don’t have the capacity for empathy and, therefor, can’t genuinely put themselves in another person’s shoes, there is no conscious or moral scruples stopping them from taking advantage of you and everyone you care about.
In other words, any show of empathy on their part is fake — a charade to manipulate others for their own personal benefit. To them, emphatic behavior is seen as a way to be seen as a “good” person by others.
2) They Have No Remorse
Because they have no empathy and are severely lacking in consciousness and compassion, NPD people don’t feel bad when they hurt someone. If they come across as feeling sorry, know that it’s not genuine.
There is absolutely no concern about the impact of their behavior on others, even their family and friends. For example, like a rat, my brother once snuck out of the house to ditch me during one of his power trips (he had a car and I didn’t). When I asked him why he did it, not only was he non-apologetic, but he actually blamed me for his behavior, claiming I was taking too long to get ready when in fact I was waiting for him to get ready.
3) They Are Entitled
A false sense of entitlement is another key narcissistic trait. Indeed, these people are high on entitlement and, in their perverted minds, actually believe they hold rights and privileges one couldn’t even imagine. Whether they are objectifying you, cheating on you, abusing you physically or emotionally, or downright controlling your life, they believe it’s their divine, self-imposed right to do so.
Remember, they live in a twisted world where they are king and you are a mere servant, a world in which they deserve special treatment from everyone. My narcissistic mother, for example, saw it fit to flatulate whenever and wherever she wanted at home without even a pretense of concealment. She was often caught walking around nude and engaging in other disturbing activities that one wouldn’t dare imagine. Why? As she would often tell my brother and I, it’s her home, so she could do anything she wanted.
4) They Are Deceptive
As author Zari Ballard puts it, “the narcissist has but one true cause that rules his life no matter what and that is to get away with something.” They will tell you whatever they think you need to know in order to extract something from you or sometimes just for the power trip they get out of it.
To these people, a lie is nothing more than a mechanism to leverage outcome. In fact, the sheer amount of lies is just them practicing the art of never admitting to anything and and, if they’re really polished, even compelling YOU to apologize for their wicked behaviors.
5. Grandiose Sense Of Self-Importance
Grandiosity, whether overt or covert, is a key trait of narcissism. Narcissists tend to inflate their accomplishments, overestimate their abilities and underestimate their weakness. It’s also not unusual for them to take credit for others’ work.
If they can’t impress you with what they have done, they will emphasize what others haven’t done or have done badly in an effort to look good. Not surprisingly, they are unwilling to talk about their failures or mistakes, fearing that it will have a negative impact on other people’s opinion of them.
6. Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde
Narcissist make fantastic first impressions, be it in job interviews or on first dates. However, the persona they project is usually completely different from who and what they really are.
Narcissists want to be seen as very good people and so put on an act pretending to be good. But, make no mistake, their only purpose is to exploit people for what they can get. And you know one thing the narcissist wants badly? To be admired, even worshiped, because of their false sense of entitlement. In fact, being able to CONTROL THE PERCEPTIONS OF OTHERS is an enormous power trip for them.
Another part of the Jekyll and Hyde personality of the narcissist is that many narcissists enjoy abusing and inflicting pain. They are sadistic bullies who derive gratification from punishing, harming, or abusing others.
7. They Are Envious
Try as they may, narcissists often cannot hide their jealousy streak. They can’t help but to be envious of what you have and, interestingly enough, believe that others are envious of them. This goes back to their false-sense of entitlement, which is to say, if they can’t have something, you can’t either.
Indeed, the pathological envy of a narcissist is one of the most devastating experiences of those unfortunate enough to experience narcissistic abuse. Their burning need to be the best and excessive sense of entitlement to being the center of attention at all times compels them to sabotage your success, undermine your joy and belittle your accomplishments in order feel superior.
8. They Are Emotionally Dependent
Despite appearing outwardly confident, those with NPD are nothing more than scared little children inside. Yes, many narcissists do truly believe they are awesome and you’re not, but do you know what happens when there is no one to stroke their fragile egos? They wither away.
Narcissist require the emotional support and admiration of certain people — their narcissistic supply — as oxygen to sustain them, otherwise they will not be able to function naturally and normally. As a result, they surround themselves with people who make them feel like the gods they foolishly think they are, always checking to make sure they have more power, more status and more control than others in order to feel secure. Their relationships are often based on whether others are useful to them or make them look good, and nothing more.
9. They Are Abusive
Not only are narcissists abusive in the simple sense of the word, but they also take the act to whole new level of insidiousness. When they don’t get what they want from their primary supply (victim), they resort to battering to take back control.
Battering can take the form of physical abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, and / or especially verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Narcissistic abuse, in particular, almost without exception also includes toxic projection, smear campaigns, sabotage, stonewalling, triangulation and many other forms of coercion and control. Remember, they have no empathy or compassion and, therefore, couldn’t give a damn about how you feel… not unless they derive gratification from your reactions.
10. They Can’t Take criticism
A prominent trait of narcissists are oversensitive to criticism and are highly reactive to any real or perceived slight — they are insecure, after all. In other words, they can dish out the criticism but can’t take it when others criticize them, regardless of if that criticism is constructive or destructive.
Narcissists don’t take responsibility for making a poor decision or for behaviors others find offensive. If they are held accountable for a mistake or insult, they quickly shift the blame to someone else. If that isn’t successful, they will protest that someone else made them do it.
Get Away; You Are In Danger
If these ten traits of a narcissist are familiar to you, don’t sweep them under the carpet. The elephant they become can and will destroy you.
The signs of narcissism can be palpable, but only those who are awake to the truth, be it through education, painful experience, or both, will be able to recognize them for what they are.
A lack of empathy and limited capacity for unconditional love makes these people very dangerous to have in your life in any way, shape or form, and no matter how good things may seem at the moment, you are literally in danger every minute you’re with them.
Narcissists are a cancer that, if not removed urgently and with extreme prejudice, will spread and consume every inch of your soul.
Leaving a narcissist is one of the toughest things you’ll ever do, but leaving is something you must do in order to live a healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
When you finally decide to get away, don’t walk — RUN!